Hello
My cousin in Johannesburg put a comment on FB today about hoping her son would do the same for her as Sean Davison did for his mother, ie assist in her death.
While I believe that all life is precious, I must agree with her. Working in an old folks home and seeing people with healthy minds and ailing bodies is the worst thing in the world. People who are no longer in control of their bodily functions, people who have no choice but to rely on others for the most basic needs of cleanliness and feeding. There is no dignity in dying in a room, where there is no love or compassion.
The reality of the old age home business is for the bed to be occupied, this is the same in any institutional environment. The fact that Sean Davison's mother wanted to die at home (at 83 years of age and riddled with cancer) is a very normal and dignified thing to want. Isn't it the way we'd all love to go, happy, and warm in our own homes surrounded by the things and people we love?
I am sure all the pro-lifers out there are saying how can you be a Christian and believe in euthanasia or even abortion? Well it's very easy to justify actually, the greatest gift we were given by God is free-will, the power to choose and make decisions about our lives.
While I personally do not believe in abortion, I understand the need for such a procedure, and in all honesty as a Christian who am I to judge the choices of another?
Also as a Christian I believe that I should have the choice to die in my own way, with a dignity and I have spoken to Rob about what I would want if something so bad happened that I would be unable to wash, feed or toilet myself (regardless of my age).
My only hope though is that as hard as that decision would be for the ones you love, there would be some law allowing them to assist you without fear of being tried for murder. Someone who loves you, and is willing to end your life regardless of the penalty is a very brave someone and I believe that since God is a good and gracious Father who loves us, this most selfless act can only ever be forgiven.
In love and light.
Friday, 25 November 2011
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
It's all about family
Hello Again
I just needed to share this with you. Rob went for lunch at Kieran's school today (I went the last time) so after eating lunch Kieran asks Rob if he will fetch him, Rob says no because he is going to fetch Cheyenne on her bicycle - something I refuse to do. Anyway he says to him that I will fetch him as usual, and he says okay and he also says tell Mum I love her.
So Rob duly tells me that my son loves me and I say to him as I have often done that Kieran will NEVER really understand how much he is loved. He will never know the extent to which he is loved, because after losing Jonathan and then having him born early and in Neonatal ICU for 6 weeks, I felt as though a huge of piece of my soul was lying in that incubator with him. I got up early everyday to be at the hospital for his 6am feed, Rob would come straight from work and we'd stay so we could do his 9pm feed, and we were just settling into an acceptance of what our lives had become, watching our son grow and get stronger but his little lungs just not getting him enough oxygen.
Then miraculously one day I go into the unit and he is lying in an open cot, away from the incubator that had been his bed for 6 weeks, and I hear the fabulous words that he is off all oxygen and come home.
Then 2 days short of a year later we are blessed with a big, beautiful and perfectly healthy little girl. She is loved as much as Kieran but there is always in the back of my mind the fact that had it not been for a fabulous team of doctors and nurses we might never have gotten to know Kieran and he like our Jonathan may have been lost to us forever.
So today I am grateful for my family, two beautiful children in this realm, one, an angel living in my heart, my husband who's proved how strong our love really is by always being there. Then of course are the rest my wonderful mother and amazing father, my darling sister and beautiful girls. My brothers so weird (or should that be eccentric?) I love them all and even though most of them are 11000 miles away, they are all with me right here, right now as I write.
In love and light.
I just needed to share this with you. Rob went for lunch at Kieran's school today (I went the last time) so after eating lunch Kieran asks Rob if he will fetch him, Rob says no because he is going to fetch Cheyenne on her bicycle - something I refuse to do. Anyway he says to him that I will fetch him as usual, and he says okay and he also says tell Mum I love her.
So Rob duly tells me that my son loves me and I say to him as I have often done that Kieran will NEVER really understand how much he is loved. He will never know the extent to which he is loved, because after losing Jonathan and then having him born early and in Neonatal ICU for 6 weeks, I felt as though a huge of piece of my soul was lying in that incubator with him. I got up early everyday to be at the hospital for his 6am feed, Rob would come straight from work and we'd stay so we could do his 9pm feed, and we were just settling into an acceptance of what our lives had become, watching our son grow and get stronger but his little lungs just not getting him enough oxygen.
Then miraculously one day I go into the unit and he is lying in an open cot, away from the incubator that had been his bed for 6 weeks, and I hear the fabulous words that he is off all oxygen and come home.
Then 2 days short of a year later we are blessed with a big, beautiful and perfectly healthy little girl. She is loved as much as Kieran but there is always in the back of my mind the fact that had it not been for a fabulous team of doctors and nurses we might never have gotten to know Kieran and he like our Jonathan may have been lost to us forever.
So today I am grateful for my family, two beautiful children in this realm, one, an angel living in my heart, my husband who's proved how strong our love really is by always being there. Then of course are the rest my wonderful mother and amazing father, my darling sister and beautiful girls. My brothers so weird (or should that be eccentric?) I love them all and even though most of them are 11000 miles away, they are all with me right here, right now as I write.
In love and light.
Monday, 21 November 2011
It's all about faith
Well hello again
It's been a while since I decided to actually write anything and today seemed like a good time to try. In the last few weeks I have started my new job, which is going really great, Rob has survived the dreaded retrenchment process once again. I'm hoping this is because he is a diligent, and loyal worker who in all honesty has NEVER called in sick.
Also I have left my part time job and actually managed to sit in church yesterday and as usual the message seemed to be directed at me. This seems to happen more often than not, and since I don't believe that coincidences occur, it must mean that I am hearing what I need to hear to confirm my faith.
Those of you who know me, know that I go to church because being in a foreign country with no immediate (my own) family around me, it allows me a sense of community and family.
So yesterday I was told to get off the fence, choose to live in faith as a Christian or not but either way make a decision. I was then lucky enough to get to chat to one of the church elders and mentioned that the message seemed just for me and we chatted and then we prayed and it is amazing, after a few basic yet powerful words I know that once again my faith is secure.
I have realised that faith like everything else that is good, needs to be nurtured, it needs to be reinforced and fed everyday.
Zig Ziglar says that motivation is like bathing you need to do it daily, well so is faith. Today I choose to feed my faith. I have said a little prayer I am announcing to all that I am a Christian and proud and I am no longer hiding my light under a bushel.
It's also great that I have come to this realisation at a time of the year when we can't help feeling happy and joyous, so regardless of whether you are a Christian or not get ready for a season on love and joy and hopefully a full renewing of your faith in whatever it is you choose to believe.
In love and light
It's been a while since I decided to actually write anything and today seemed like a good time to try. In the last few weeks I have started my new job, which is going really great, Rob has survived the dreaded retrenchment process once again. I'm hoping this is because he is a diligent, and loyal worker who in all honesty has NEVER called in sick.
Also I have left my part time job and actually managed to sit in church yesterday and as usual the message seemed to be directed at me. This seems to happen more often than not, and since I don't believe that coincidences occur, it must mean that I am hearing what I need to hear to confirm my faith.
Those of you who know me, know that I go to church because being in a foreign country with no immediate (my own) family around me, it allows me a sense of community and family.
So yesterday I was told to get off the fence, choose to live in faith as a Christian or not but either way make a decision. I was then lucky enough to get to chat to one of the church elders and mentioned that the message seemed just for me and we chatted and then we prayed and it is amazing, after a few basic yet powerful words I know that once again my faith is secure.
I have realised that faith like everything else that is good, needs to be nurtured, it needs to be reinforced and fed everyday.
Zig Ziglar says that motivation is like bathing you need to do it daily, well so is faith. Today I choose to feed my faith. I have said a little prayer I am announcing to all that I am a Christian and proud and I am no longer hiding my light under a bushel.
It's also great that I have come to this realisation at a time of the year when we can't help feeling happy and joyous, so regardless of whether you are a Christian or not get ready for a season on love and joy and hopefully a full renewing of your faith in whatever it is you choose to believe.
In love and light
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
It's about having everything you need.
Hello again
Well my hubby has just e-mailed me a news report that says the company he works for needs to cut another 2400 jobs (at least) to start saving some money. It's crazy but he has survived several of these cuts and now chatting to him on the phone he is not worried and the crazy part is that I am not afraid either.
I believe that whatever happens we will be fine. There is a book called "A Course in Miracles" it is supposed to be a book written by the Holy Spirit. I read it quite a while ago and while there is lots about the book I don't remember there is one phrase that I do remember and it's this "God has given me everything I need." You know what? I have everything I need. I am the first to admit that there is much I would like to have, but when all is said and done, I DO have everything I need. I am loved, I have arms, legs, eyes and ears. I have two beautiful children and a family who care about me and love me.
Once again it all boils down to being grateful for what you do have. This does not however mean that I don't want lots of other things, but I am happy to continue believing that everything I want is being manifested especially for me.
Keep the faith! I'll share a little titbit with you. I was watching telly and saw a show on lottery winners, one woman won $112 000 000.00 (onehundred and twelve Million Dollars) she put the number under her pillow, literally slept on it. She won the jackpot.
So I figure hey if it worked for her then why can't it work for me? So I put a number on the back of a picture, pop it in an envelope and stick it into my pillow case.
When the big day came and I did not win, I reached into my pillow case and took out the piece of paper, I showed it to my hubby and sniggered accordingly, and you know what my wonderful (and I thought cynical) husband did, he put it back into my pillow case and told me to "Keep the dream alive". So for months I have been sleeping with a note and number under my pillow because I am keeping OUR dream alive and you know what else? It doesn't matter now how long it takes to win as long as we are dreaming of a future that includes having everything we need.
In love and light
Tracey
Well my hubby has just e-mailed me a news report that says the company he works for needs to cut another 2400 jobs (at least) to start saving some money. It's crazy but he has survived several of these cuts and now chatting to him on the phone he is not worried and the crazy part is that I am not afraid either.
I believe that whatever happens we will be fine. There is a book called "A Course in Miracles" it is supposed to be a book written by the Holy Spirit. I read it quite a while ago and while there is lots about the book I don't remember there is one phrase that I do remember and it's this "God has given me everything I need." You know what? I have everything I need. I am the first to admit that there is much I would like to have, but when all is said and done, I DO have everything I need. I am loved, I have arms, legs, eyes and ears. I have two beautiful children and a family who care about me and love me.
Once again it all boils down to being grateful for what you do have. This does not however mean that I don't want lots of other things, but I am happy to continue believing that everything I want is being manifested especially for me.
Keep the faith! I'll share a little titbit with you. I was watching telly and saw a show on lottery winners, one woman won $112 000 000.00 (onehundred and twelve Million Dollars) she put the number under her pillow, literally slept on it. She won the jackpot.
So I figure hey if it worked for her then why can't it work for me? So I put a number on the back of a picture, pop it in an envelope and stick it into my pillow case.
When the big day came and I did not win, I reached into my pillow case and took out the piece of paper, I showed it to my hubby and sniggered accordingly, and you know what my wonderful (and I thought cynical) husband did, he put it back into my pillow case and told me to "Keep the dream alive". So for months I have been sleeping with a note and number under my pillow because I am keeping OUR dream alive and you know what else? It doesn't matter now how long it takes to win as long as we are dreaming of a future that includes having everything we need.
In love and light
Tracey
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
It's all about moving forward.
Good Evening
Well, I have once again been hiding in my books and while they all talk about, thinking about what you want, being grateful for what you have and feeling deserving of everything you want (yes I believe it all). Unfotunately for me they also say that you need to persue your passion and those of you who know my writings know that I have quite simply NOT discovered my passion.
Earlier this week I had a great chat (about 45 minutes - long distance) with my darling sister, it's amazing how she always knows exactly what to and generally it boils down to ME. I was feeling rather guilty about several things and some of these things are years and years old, Lolly gave me advice based on her own success and when I laughed and said I feel bad because it's ALWAYS about me and you know she said that that was OK. It was about time it became all about me, we are so often upset by other people, what they said or did or what they did not say or do, and we obsess about the things/ problems of others.
If I am to move forward it has to be about me. I have to love me, I have to know that I am worthy, I have to take care of my body, I have to spend my time meditating and sorting my things out. So it's not about being selfish or self absorbed it's about learning exactly who you are and what you want and as I move forward, making it all about me, then I will find my passion and I will be able to give more of myself to others because there will be so much more of myself to share.
In love and light
Tracey
Well, I have once again been hiding in my books and while they all talk about, thinking about what you want, being grateful for what you have and feeling deserving of everything you want (yes I believe it all). Unfotunately for me they also say that you need to persue your passion and those of you who know my writings know that I have quite simply NOT discovered my passion.
Earlier this week I had a great chat (about 45 minutes - long distance) with my darling sister, it's amazing how she always knows exactly what to and generally it boils down to ME. I was feeling rather guilty about several things and some of these things are years and years old, Lolly gave me advice based on her own success and when I laughed and said I feel bad because it's ALWAYS about me and you know she said that that was OK. It was about time it became all about me, we are so often upset by other people, what they said or did or what they did not say or do, and we obsess about the things/ problems of others.
If I am to move forward it has to be about me. I have to love me, I have to know that I am worthy, I have to take care of my body, I have to spend my time meditating and sorting my things out. So it's not about being selfish or self absorbed it's about learning exactly who you are and what you want and as I move forward, making it all about me, then I will find my passion and I will be able to give more of myself to others because there will be so much more of myself to share.
In love and light
Tracey
Monday, 26 September 2011
As you wish
Hello
I was just checking Twitter and unlike some who Tweet and retweet all day long I only check it every now and then and this evening I happened to see Stephen Fry's tweet about The Princess Bride or more importantly "As you wish".
I recently shared the Princess Bride with my children and they loved it as much as I did when I first saw it anyway I think we re-watched about 3 more time.
The thing is that love no matter where it comes from is true and pure. Just like Wesley's love for Buttercup it was pure and overcomes all evils.
So everytime Wesley says "as you wish" he is saying "I love you", and when we think about it God or The Universe, has always said "as you wish", because we are love. Love makes life real, love ensures we are all valued and cared for.
Only love is real, this is an age old concept all metaphysicists and a whole lot of others agree that without love we are nothing. Zig Ziglar says something like "You are someone if you are someone to anyone", and "as you wish" is also true of the law of attraction, God or whoever/whatever you believe in loves you so much that everything you want is yours if you dare to wish.
So say a prayer, wave your magic wand and believe that you are so loved and worthy of everything you desire and the end result will be "AS YOU WISH".
In love and light.
Tracey
I was just checking Twitter and unlike some who Tweet and retweet all day long I only check it every now and then and this evening I happened to see Stephen Fry's tweet about The Princess Bride or more importantly "As you wish".
I recently shared the Princess Bride with my children and they loved it as much as I did when I first saw it anyway I think we re-watched about 3 more time.
The thing is that love no matter where it comes from is true and pure. Just like Wesley's love for Buttercup it was pure and overcomes all evils.
So everytime Wesley says "as you wish" he is saying "I love you", and when we think about it God or The Universe, has always said "as you wish", because we are love. Love makes life real, love ensures we are all valued and cared for.
Only love is real, this is an age old concept all metaphysicists and a whole lot of others agree that without love we are nothing. Zig Ziglar says something like "You are someone if you are someone to anyone", and "as you wish" is also true of the law of attraction, God or whoever/whatever you believe in loves you so much that everything you want is yours if you dare to wish.
So say a prayer, wave your magic wand and believe that you are so loved and worthy of everything you desire and the end result will be "AS YOU WISH".
In love and light.
Tracey
Sunday, 25 September 2011
Let's give thanks.
Hello All
I actually got to sit in church today (as opposed to either working or in JFC). It was a fantastic family service and of course it's harvest time so the theme for today was harvest. How bountiful the land is and how fortunate we are to have maybe not everything we desire but a heck of of a lot more than some.
In the notices there was an appeal for children's clothes, there are children from Chernobyl who are coming to stay with local families and all they get to bring with them is a plastic bag and a bottle of water. This touched me so that I began to cry (in the church). I cried because as much as I say I am grateful, I am constantly wanting more and here are these innocent children who live so differently from ourselves that all they would like are some second hand clothes.
Well as much as I am grateful I have also realised just how ungrateful I can be, we were given a challenge to everyday get up and be grateful for something, well this is something I am going to be more sincere about, being grateful in words in one thing, but being grateful, giving thanks and actually sharing your bounty are completley different things.
This week I am setting out to show gratitude for all my blessing rather than just say how grateful I am. Maybe you could try it to?
In love and light
Tracey
I actually got to sit in church today (as opposed to either working or in JFC). It was a fantastic family service and of course it's harvest time so the theme for today was harvest. How bountiful the land is and how fortunate we are to have maybe not everything we desire but a heck of of a lot more than some.
In the notices there was an appeal for children's clothes, there are children from Chernobyl who are coming to stay with local families and all they get to bring with them is a plastic bag and a bottle of water. This touched me so that I began to cry (in the church). I cried because as much as I say I am grateful, I am constantly wanting more and here are these innocent children who live so differently from ourselves that all they would like are some second hand clothes.
Well as much as I am grateful I have also realised just how ungrateful I can be, we were given a challenge to everyday get up and be grateful for something, well this is something I am going to be more sincere about, being grateful in words in one thing, but being grateful, giving thanks and actually sharing your bounty are completley different things.
This week I am setting out to show gratitude for all my blessing rather than just say how grateful I am. Maybe you could try it to?
In love and light
Tracey
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
Rise above and smile
I have been reading Catherine Ponder's The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity and even if you are not after manifesting your heart's desires, the book is a pretty good blue print for success. She talks about things like making lists so you know what you want now and in the future, but she also talks about mentally picturing yourself as having all the things you want, she then goes on to say that we should picture other people as successful and prosperous she goes into a spiel about the imaging power of the mind but I think it's a good idea because that is how our successful and prosperous world would look.
The next thought that pops into my head is how you need to bless someone and funnily enough my sister who spends so much time in her car, and has totally begun to manifest her perfect life -now never suffers from road rage (believe me driving in South Africa could cause Buddah himself to suffer from road rage) when she gets cut off in the traffic or some nameless, faceless, stressed out driver causes problems on the road where she used to shout obsentities at them she now says "bless you" but it's not a soft and holy bless you. Oh no it's shouted with all the rage of an unmentionable obsenity. What this does is, it releases her from the frustration of keeping quiet (which automatically makes you feel better) but the sentiment of blessing someone who has harmed you is a form of rising above the level of those around you, and let's face it, it's good not to stoop a lower level regardless of the situation.
So just for today think about how you can bless someone, I tend to bless strangers walking in the street and if nothing else I get to smile, occassionally though you get startled thank you and a smile and just for one instant you have created your ideal world. Go on try it.
BLESS YOU!
In love and light
Tracey
The next thought that pops into my head is how you need to bless someone and funnily enough my sister who spends so much time in her car, and has totally begun to manifest her perfect life -now never suffers from road rage (believe me driving in South Africa could cause Buddah himself to suffer from road rage) when she gets cut off in the traffic or some nameless, faceless, stressed out driver causes problems on the road where she used to shout obsentities at them she now says "bless you" but it's not a soft and holy bless you. Oh no it's shouted with all the rage of an unmentionable obsenity. What this does is, it releases her from the frustration of keeping quiet (which automatically makes you feel better) but the sentiment of blessing someone who has harmed you is a form of rising above the level of those around you, and let's face it, it's good not to stoop a lower level regardless of the situation.
So just for today think about how you can bless someone, I tend to bless strangers walking in the street and if nothing else I get to smile, occassionally though you get startled thank you and a smile and just for one instant you have created your ideal world. Go on try it.
BLESS YOU!
In love and light
Tracey
Sunday, 18 September 2011
It's Easy
More Notes from the Universe by Mike Dooley "It's easy. Really easy. All of it. It's all really easy."
I believe I finally have an idea for my book, I'm not sharing the idea yet, but I have I bit of part time work in a nursing home and I have always felt apprehensive about going in and I therefore don't sleep well before a shift, nothing was different this weekend, but before leaving for work I did some writing and I felt at ease, ready to face the day. It was almost as if I had already accomplished something for the day and could therefore face the day. True enough the day went smoothly and the residents all co-operated and it was a great day at work.
So the fact that the first page I open in the above mentioned book says that It's easy is definately true, it's easy when you do something with purpose and determination. It's easy when you face your fears and move on, and it's easy when you change your attitude from a can't do to a can do.
So I believe it's easy and I just hope I can continue find it easy, small steps and even if you are going three steps forward and two steps back still you still have the benefit of ONE WHOLE STEP FORWARD. I guess we're so busy convincing ourselves that it's not moving because we don't see any noticable changes but the changes are coming and you know what? It's easy.
In love and light
Tracey
I believe I finally have an idea for my book, I'm not sharing the idea yet, but I have I bit of part time work in a nursing home and I have always felt apprehensive about going in and I therefore don't sleep well before a shift, nothing was different this weekend, but before leaving for work I did some writing and I felt at ease, ready to face the day. It was almost as if I had already accomplished something for the day and could therefore face the day. True enough the day went smoothly and the residents all co-operated and it was a great day at work.
So the fact that the first page I open in the above mentioned book says that It's easy is definately true, it's easy when you do something with purpose and determination. It's easy when you face your fears and move on, and it's easy when you change your attitude from a can't do to a can do.
So I believe it's easy and I just hope I can continue find it easy, small steps and even if you are going three steps forward and two steps back still you still have the benefit of ONE WHOLE STEP FORWARD. I guess we're so busy convincing ourselves that it's not moving because we don't see any noticable changes but the changes are coming and you know what? It's easy.
In love and light
Tracey
Saturday, 17 September 2011
Forget the how.
Mike Dooley " The Universe knows how."
Following on from yesterday this quote literally jumped out at me, yes (and I try not to use literally like I literally died for this that or the other thing), I moved from my desk to my bed and I dropped the book, losing my page, after bending down and picking the book up I just opened the book and that was the quote on the page I saw. I'm guessing that because there are no coincidences in life this is the message the universe wants me to get.
I'm also guessing that's because I am a self confessed control freak, I need to know what is happening, when? Where? And how? The how in my world is the most important factor because without knowing how, I have lost control.
So I am going to stick my neck and say I have answered the aged old question of why some people manage to do be or have everything they want and the rest of us schmucks don't, here is the most simple solution.
People who have everything do this...
Want it
Desire it
Ask for it
Believe it's theirs
And ... LET GO!
Those of us who don't get what they want do this...
Want it
Desire it
Ask for it
Change our minds (several times if not several hundred times)
And... OBSESS over how we are going to get it.
I am going to try and forget about how and just believe in the power of the Universe to deliver. I know I'll begin changing my mind and obsessing over the how but hey we are not all perfect and somethings take practice. Today I have practiced.
Here endeth the lesson.
In love and Light
Tracey
Following on from yesterday this quote literally jumped out at me, yes (and I try not to use literally like I literally died for this that or the other thing), I moved from my desk to my bed and I dropped the book, losing my page, after bending down and picking the book up I just opened the book and that was the quote on the page I saw. I'm guessing that because there are no coincidences in life this is the message the universe wants me to get.
I'm also guessing that's because I am a self confessed control freak, I need to know what is happening, when? Where? And how? The how in my world is the most important factor because without knowing how, I have lost control.
So I am going to stick my neck and say I have answered the aged old question of why some people manage to do be or have everything they want and the rest of us schmucks don't, here is the most simple solution.
People who have everything do this...
Want it
Desire it
Ask for it
Believe it's theirs
And ... LET GO!
Those of us who don't get what they want do this...
Want it
Desire it
Ask for it
Change our minds (several times if not several hundred times)
And... OBSESS over how we are going to get it.
I am going to try and forget about how and just believe in the power of the Universe to deliver. I know I'll begin changing my mind and obsessing over the how but hey we are not all perfect and somethings take practice. Today I have practiced.
Here endeth the lesson.
In love and Light
Tracey
Friday, 16 September 2011
Am I really worth it?
I have been reading bits and pieces lately and one of these bits is Notes from the Universe by Mike Dooley. One of his quotes is this "Of all the people in all the world, not a single one of them... is more precious, loved and deserving than you."
Well I have said it before that the law of attraction does not work unless you believe that you are worthy of receiving all you desire. This is where we all fall short. We want to be, have and do everything but then we worry about the how we are going to be, do and have everything we desire. If I have learned anything from watching my sister manifest her desires it's this, don't worry about it! Ask for what you want, believe you are worthy of it and leave it in the ether, the universe WILL deliver, why because you do deserve it and YES I am worthy of it to.
In love and light
Tracey
Well I have said it before that the law of attraction does not work unless you believe that you are worthy of receiving all you desire. This is where we all fall short. We want to be, have and do everything but then we worry about the how we are going to be, do and have everything we desire. If I have learned anything from watching my sister manifest her desires it's this, don't worry about it! Ask for what you want, believe you are worthy of it and leave it in the ether, the universe WILL deliver, why because you do deserve it and YES I am worthy of it to.
In love and light
Tracey
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